NONVERBAL CUES
A great deal of communication is nonverbal and unconscious.It is therefore critical that you develop an ability to pick up on the nonverbal cues and unconscious communication of others.
People often use a facial expression, a gesture, or a body posture in either a conscious or unconscious effort to communicate a message.Some people pick up on these nonverbal communications. Others don’t; they need to be told what the other person is thinking.
Some of the most successful people don’t need
to be told what someone is thinking. They already know.
Many of the world’s most successful poker players fall into this category. They have a highly-developed ability to observe and read people. They analyze their body movements, gestures, betting patterns, eye contact, facial expressions, posture, even their heartrate and breathing patterns. They pick up on cues—both consciously and unconsciously. I occasionally play poker and I use my time at the table to employ and further develop these skills.
In Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior, author Leonard Mlodinow tells us that “Human behavior is the product of an endless stream of perceptions, feelings and thoughts at both the conscious and the unconscious levels.”
Mlodinow tells us,“We look to faces to quickly judge whether someone is happy or sad, content or dissatisfied, friendly or dangerous. And our honest reactions to events are reflected in facial expressions controlled, in large part, by our unconscious minds.”
Expressions are central to how we communicate
and are difficult to suppress or fake.
In fact, facial expressions are such an important part of how we communicate that there is a specific part of the brain that is used to analyze faces called the “fusiform face area.”
We can tell, within seconds, how someone feels by the expression on their face. How a person moves their body; how they position their head, arms, hands and legs; how their eyes, mouth, fingers and toes move; and whether their eye pupils are dilated or contracted; are all unconscious signals. These unconscious signals can reveal an emotion, feeling, attitude, or mood that the person exhibiting these reactions may prefer to conceal.
Involuntary, nonverbal signals tell an alert observer more about our state of mind—including our attitudes, emotions, thoughts and feelings—than any words we can say.
Your unconscious mind will pick up on many of these cues. Evolution has caused our brains to develop this unconscious ability for survival. But if you’re observant, if you focus your attention on these areas, your conscious mind can also identify subtle gestures that convey a feeling or transmit a thought.
By paying attention, you can identify gestures and expressions that reveal a person’s inner feelings at that moment.Interpreting this nonverbal language can give you a much more accurate understanding of a person’s thoughts, feelings and intentions.
It is essential that you recognize the importance of nonverbal communication and the role of our unconscious mind in understanding, processing and communicating information.Practice awareness of your own body language and analyze specific cues—such as posture, expressions and gestures—being made by others, whether or not they’re speaking. Consciously work to improve your ability to observe, identify and interpret the nonverbal and unconscious communication of others.
